On Difficult Things To Say: Empty Nesting Part 2

“Kids don’t stay with you if you do it right. It’s the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won’t be needed in the long run.” — Barbara Kingsolver

It did not go the way that they said it would.

I would feel grief for the loss of him. There would be a hole. A sadness. A longing. My motherhood would be seeking solace.

Not how it went at all.

At first, there was only happiness. Delight, even. I was firmly plugged into the joy our son is experiencing in being on his own in a new place. It is a feeling I remember, myself. Having studied abroad for several years, I know it well. And his experience had me remembering.

There was next an unwinding. It was expansive and interesting. It was lovely and spacious. There was room again…like my house doubled in size and there were so many new resources to allocate and experience. Energy flowed back into me.

When I became a mother, my life turned on a dime. I was mostly selfish in my mid-twenties. Self focused. I was working on my Masters in Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine. Top of my class.I had a lovely boyfriend that fought fire so he was gone a lot. We had a little house…