It is definitely more about the personalities that choose these careers in some cases. But being married to a firefighter and knowing many (a few divorced), it is in no way the majority. And many of the problems arrive when the other spouse does not realize the sacrifice it will require to be married to them. You will need to be independent, enjoy being alone, able to seek resources and help from other places, secure in your own life, trustworthy and willing to hold space for the wild and crazy PTSD soaked lives these careers are marinated in. Firefighters, especially, do have another "family" that they spend a lot of time with. So wives learn to be one of the guys and also a space of rest and recovery outside of that space. Jelousy will not fly. The majority are great guys. But it is hard work being married to them.